Unemployment Guide

Step 1:

Use furniture arranger tool on studio apartment website to compose a bland, ikea-inspired layout.

Step 2:
Find dream job to fund unrealistic expectations.

Step 3:
Settle for whoever will take me.

Step 4:
Whine about it.

Step 5:
Move back to Hawaii.

Did you hear the one about the election?

Riddle me this:

What do you call the idealistic fool who leaves the paradise of Hawaii for the eventual POSSIBILITY of a job in Washington DC?

Answer:

Mister President.

There's probably a real joke in there somewhere but I'm still too inspired to think of one. Congratulations America.


Also this...

Stop me if you've heard this one...

So this micronesian walks into a blog and says,

Everything old is new again
my feet are so cold they're turning blue again
and if you look really closely
you'll see my writing is mostly
a series of punchlines for you again!


I am not funny. This is my blog.